Happy birthday Kylee

Today would be Kylee's third birthday. I want to talk a little bit about her, I'm sure I will only be the one who might reads this but today I want to be selfish of my older daughter. I don't ask for much to myself and my family but today I wanted to share in the memory of a beautiful little girl that is mine. I was unable to do what I really wanted to do today, I wanted to be selfish. I am totally ok with saying this. Kylee was born on Feb 4Th 2006 @8:00 am. We knew that Kylee would only be here for a short while she was 24 weeks, we had problems from about 17 weeks with my pregnancy but I was so happy to be given the chance to carry a daughter of God. I was truly happy all the way though it, well most of the parts until the day came when I was getting very ill due to Kylee's water sake braking @ 17 weeks unable to rebuild. I kept praying for a safe deliver for her. I received many blessing all saying that this was the Lords will and that I would understand in time. Yes my very heart was braking until my husband and brother Robert gave me a blessing of peace it felt like heavenly father was holding me, I was very small in his arms and he told me he understood what I was going though and that I was not alone. That this wonderful little spirit only needed a body and that he needs her for greater things. That she would watch over me and our family that she would always be there for me when I needed her to be. That she was only hanging on for me, because I couldn't let her go " what mother could." But he let me know it was ok to let her go. At this point we meet with our wonderful Bishop and explained our situation to him, I was running out of time to make the most difficult decision of my life to let her go. Doctors didn't know why I waited so long to make my decision, I told them I didn't care for there opinion. I was given less then two weeks or they felt I would have such an infection that would stop me from having any other children. With news like that and feelings your unborn child move, it really put me in a place I never thought I would be.
This was about the third week in Jan, we received our Ensign a week earlier for Feb this has never happened to us. There was a talk in there from the prophet stating that stillborns, miscarriage children are sealed to the family and that there work is already done by the way of a sealed husband and wife. This was my lasted answer to my prays I was ready to be happy, and meet my daughter for the first time. I will say this for my daughter she was a fighter she was alive all the way up to giving birth, she had the doctors talking and making sure everything would go well for us. See Kylee never was able to develop lungs due to no fluid. Doctors stated that my body should of aborted the pregnancy when my water broke, but it didn't due that my body kept on feeding and helping her grow. But the sake around Kylee was getting very small on her. We knew that if we wanted the chance to meet her we needed to do it soon. The doctors told us if I went to 25 weeks they would not let me give birth to her they would go in and get her. There was no reason to risk myself or my health. Kylee was given a 1% chance of making it.
This is only a small picture of my daughter Kylee , when they first handed her in my arms she looked like she was sleeping, so soft and warm perfect in a mothers eyes. I know this may sound funny but it was like she let out a breath when they handed her to me, like she was holding on until she could meet me and so I could kiss her on the head and say good bye for now. I was truly over joyed with love for this little girl. The comfort I have is knowing she is with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, that she was to perfect for this world and that she will never be in any pain. Kylee you will always be in my heart forever. Love your Mother Jolene Eva Camp.
I used to have a scrap book of all her things but it was lost so this is what I have left. I hope those who read this understand that I am to afraid of forgetting her so I get a chance to put my heart filled thoughts for myself here on my blog. I do want everyone to know who reads this, that if I ever had a chance to do this again I would not change a thing. The time I was able to share and have with Kylee is priceless to me. Know that am happy to have her and that am not sad today, today was a good day for remembering her memory.